After the office hour with my Women's study professor, we started talking about my major -Geology. She asked what it was like to study Geology. I told her what we have been doing in our labs lately, and how frustrating it gets to be recently. I also told her how I have kept on trying different and unrelated things with the packed schedule and overloaded works which are often out my handle. As of the question of hers of where I would be going after college, I addressed some of my concern. Her attitude as someone in her 30s and someone who studies philosophy is positive.

It always can get frustrating when one gets up to a certain level in every profession. From her experience and studying, she understands that people in their 20s tend to rush and want to get to somewhere quickly. The conclusion is, not until they are in their 30s will they realize how much time they once had in their 20s. It is okay to take time. It is important to be sure. It is never too late to change. The suggestion is, try hard and be patient. Even if one changes one’s mind after the completion of the master degree, it will still certainly not be the end of the world. Keep trying, feeling lost, pondering and struggling –which will all become the process that bridges 20s and 30s, after which things still may or may not converge. Bottom line, make it worth.

The condition is quite different now, that I am able to see for myself, plan for it, and put in action, and gradually get better result.

The important thing for me is that I think I have found the source of the energy -I have found what that directs, though not direction itself. 

A young lady in my geo class enjoys being lost in direction while driving. She loves to listen to the audio book in her car, wonder what have just happened in the audio book, and then totally miss the Exit and get lost and strive to find her way back. What a process. And that's what that counts -she learned about the island.

Practiced the piano in TAC for over 4 hours straight yesterday. I really wondered, was it the first time that I did it for this semester? I don't remember when I went there last time. Sur le fil was completely back to me all of a sudden, after two years. It is always amazing to me how music just comes back to me that way. Fingers do have memories. Or, the deeper mind was reminded of the familiar, the original, the pristine. TAC was alive again to me. Coming out from TAC, people were dancing, playing guitar, singing with such great vocal voice. It was magical.

Had another great meeting with my supervisor today, and it just makes me further determined.

I really hope it lasts.

Evenly distributed yet? 

Love what I am doing, love being where I am.